For many families the holidays are a time of celebration, reflection and togetherness. But for military-connected children and their families, the season can bring unique emotional challenges. A parent may be deployed, the family might be adjusting to a recent move, or traditions may look different because of distance from loved ones. Military-connected children demonstrate great strength, but they also need consistent support to manage the ups and downs that come with military life, particularly around the holidays.
First things first, what are holiday-specific stressors for military families and others?
- A parent may be away on deployment during key celebrations. The family member could be in the middle of a long deployment or suddenly need to leave on assignment.
- Children might miss extended family or familiar traditions due to a recent move. This includes school celebrations, activities, or the decorations of the season.
- Expectations of “holiday happiness” can make kids feel guilty or confused if they’re sad or anxious. It may be difficult to see others celebrating when they are focused on missing a family member, not being able to celebrate like other years, or worried about the changes they are experiencing.
Now that we know how to recognize it, what can we do about it as parents?
- We can keep routines steady. Predictability provides comfort. Keep meals, bedtime and schedules consistent.
- Create meaningful connections by scheduling video calls, recording bedtime messages, or exchanging letters or drawings. Keep a daily journal or calendar diary of things to share the next time you talk or call and to explore together when the soldier returns.
- Honor old traditions while also making new ones, such as baking cookies and mailing them to a deployed parent. Join with other military families to share in the holiday spirit and feel supported by those who have been through similar situations.
- Encourage emotional expression by asking open questions, listening, and validating emotions. It is okay to feel sad and disappointed when away from someone you love, especially at the holidays.
- Strengthen sense of belonging. Encourage teachers, coaches, and friends to include and support military-connected children during the season.
- Watch for signs of stress. Monitor for behavioral changes, trouble sleeping, withdrawal, or irritability. Early conversations and check-ins can help.
Most importantly, military-connected children show remarkable courage and flexibility. With a little understanding, structure, and emotional connection, the holidays can be filled with joy, love, and meaning – even when loved ones are far away.
Madison Close, DO, BayCare Pediatric Residency Program, PGY2
Resources:
Supporting Military-Connected Kids’ Mental Health - The Kids Mental Health Foundation
A Message to Military Families: Staying Connected - HealthyChildren.org
.jpg?h=340&iar=0&w=600&hash=2BF42E0D112939DFFEF0D2F5D7CFC3D4)
